Відео

Guys just vote Republican

If this is not real news, I wonder what else is!

Deathamphetamines

FINALLY an ADHD video that doesn't trigger ADHD symptoms, thank you the Onion, the freshest choise for medical news since 1337 AD.

People without ADHD might confuse it with random shitposting, they will never get it...

But they still don't realize that they will die too and have to prepare for their afterlife.

I plan to send an automated probe. Wish me luck!

How you can claim your son on the tax return after you marry so he has to pay an entire first year of college and hasn’t lived at home in 6 months.

Vice president Biden indeed knew "a guy" that could get them some speed....

Clearly they didn't take long enough!

This joke really nails the incessant paranoia that the two parties have toward each other!😂😩

They all are pro stit utes

“Every second of my day is accounted for” *Michael makes the first eye contact of his life*

hello world 1day

16 years later and this is still hilarious 😂

Every time my six year old describes an adventure sequence, it will now have Vin Diesel in it when I picture it in my head.

WOW... really? I can't believe they are THAT STUPID!!! ... oh, yea... they're corporate, so yea, they are...

This was heartbreaking to watch crying so hard rn

Give up the cat is diabolical

Given 'shrinkflation', 'family sized' is barely a meal anymore.

Was really hoping her name would be Nicole or something lol

This is evil💀

"Pledge your loyalty to the state of israel" The most American line in the onion.

Hilarious!

I HOPE THIS IS FAKE 🥵🥵🥵

The onion here predated fifty shades of grey : Spanish inquisition

Is this the commmand and conquer guy?

11 years later this is all pretty accurate.

just wait until he brings back the coins and shows his mom, "former news interviewee shares how his son's coin collecting addiction brought a whole $2 home, and now she can fully pay back all of her debt after struggling for years"

🤦‍♂️

This is actually scaring me lol. But I know it's satire, so this is very creative and well written

The Onion used to be so good 😂

The president agrees this seems like a pretty good deal

This is Huffpost level journalism. Reminds of the supposed trump tape that probably never existed. Haha

Rip Jan Paweł II, 21:37 was a time.

whats with all the weird descriptiions its so funny

“His classmates dismissed him as obnoxious, and a moron.”

2:12 "YOU WILL DIE" Bunny: 😐😐

Now teach him about the afterlife and spirituality

This is fucked lol

As an autistic person, this is hilariously accurate. My family and I had a great laugh at this.

ALZ-112

Bruh wtf...i feel Bad for that gorila

The people that are mad clearly don’t have any common sense or media literacy 😭

My wife cooks, I’m the scullery maid when it comes to clean up. This is typical of when our now adult kids and their families come over for dinner.

It’s funny, Florida had low slave numbers compared to the rest of the south, but the most believable state this would happen in is Florida lmao

“3000 of their own infidels?” lol

The reporters are so condescending 😐 I feel bad for this kid. Like, leave him be.

Okay but I want real answer. Not I love my mommy, so my mommy can do whatever she wants to do.

This is what the woke left wants